Run With Horses

Marriage A to Z: Joy in Your Marriage

Joy! Where do you find yours? 
 
Joy of knowing you have a companion for the long haul (as far as we know); togetherness.
 
Joy of misunderstanding . . . and finding humor in it afterward.
 
Joy in growing to know each other better – and be known better than by anyone else in the world.
 
Joy in finding ways to please him/her.
 
Joy of serving together.
 
Joy of seeing fruit in ministry and in our family.
 
Joy of shared interests.
 
Joy of spending time together, enjoying each other’s company.
 
Joy in shared history, memories, challenges, triumphs.
 
Joy of growing spiritually and seeing it in each other; encouraging, uplifting, helping. You for them, them for you.
 
Joy of sharing with other couples the things you’ve learned.
 
Joy of learning sacrifice, unselfishness, and humility.
 
Joy of multiplying strengths (and weaknesses!)
 
Jesus
Others
You
 
Sometimes there is joy in the circumstance. Most of the time joy comes outside of the circumstance. Because of who you’re doing it with or for. In the short run, it may not be what you’d choose; but if you see the purpose (and it’s not YOU), you can find joy.

Questions about Making Disciples

Questions and Answers! Send your questions to talk@runwithhorses.net to be included in the next listener Q&A.
Is discipleship just for new Christians?
What if my church is not doing anything intentional to make disciples now?
How long does it take?
What materials should I use?
How do you know where a person should start?
How do we define a “win” when it comes to making disciples?
What about training leaders?
How do you start a discipling relationship? What do you say to invite someone into this? What approach?
What kind of person is worth discipling? Who needs it?
How do you know when training is completed?
What do I do next?

Roles of a Disciple Maker

For resources we recommend on making disciples, check out the resources page of our website, www.runwithhorses.net
 
Roles of a Disciple Maker
Each role emphases a different aspect of making disciples.
 
Teacher – facts, transmit information, can do in a group of most any size.
 
Coach – includes evaluation as well as practical instruction, application of truth
 
Mentor – most often seen in an more mature disciple sharing their experience and lessons learned through practice.
 
Counselor – helping work through problems or issues that hinder spiritual growth.
 
Advisor – walking through potential decisions coming up, brainstorming, working through options
 
Model – Live out biblical principles with them. Explaining the WHY as well as modeling the WHAT.
 
Librarian - resource person, sharing books, websites, even contacts with the goal of helping people grow
 
Cheerleader – encouragement and motivation
 
Co-worker – serve together, come alongside
 
Tools of a Disciple Maker
Prayer – pray with and for others
Questions – using quesitons to guide the person you are discipling to understand the truth you study in scripture makes it sink in more than telling them the answer.
Listening – really pay attention to what is being said as well as how it is said.
Truth - Bible knowledge
Your Example - Model
Experience – share what you have learned, through successes and failures. Remind yourself and others of God’s faithfulness.
Encouragement - It's ok, try again.
Motivation - You can do it.
Time Together – more than training and ministry, just being, life together is important and provides the context for disciple making.
The Church Family!

Foundations for Making Disciples PART 2

Check out https://runwithhorses.net/ The Resource page has books we recommend for helping you make disciples!
 
Foundations for Making Disciples PART 2
 
Third Step– Make Growth a Priority. Change is natural and necessary.
http://jimputman.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/The-5-Stages-Of-Spiritual-Growth-1.pdf
Dead to Life- life begins as an infant.
An infant is dependent on another person 100% for life needs.
 
Infant to child to Young Adult →Parent to Spiritual Grand parent.
The eventual aim is a mature self-feeding Disciple maker who is capable of replicating himself.
 
Fourth Step – Keep the focus on growing in obedience, not just knowledge!
 
Three questions that will help us keep our focus right. Ask these every time we talk about the application of Scripture to our lives.
1. Do you understand the meaning of the passage?
2. Do you agree with what God is saying?
3.Do you see how to apply it in your daily life?
 
The answer to these questions guides your conversation and prayer together.
Regularly follow-up with; How can I help you live out what you are learning?
 
Fifth Step – Encourage them to reach out to others.
It doesn’t stop with them. The clear message must be Pass on what you have received.
 

Foundations for Making Disciples PART 1

Check out https://runwithhorses.net/ The Resource page has books we recommend for helping you make disciples!
 
Foundations for Making Disciples PART 1
-Time
-Conversation
-Do life and ministry Together
 
First Step – Evaluation, Where am I at on the journey towards Christ? Where is the person I am helping on their journey towards Christ?
 
Engel's Scale - http://docs.abwe.org/CEIM/good-soil/miscellaneous/GS-scale.pdf
Evaluate a persons spiritual location with intentional questions
Goal is to help people make one or two steps forward.
We are always making steps toward Christ-likeness.
 
Intentional Conversation is the method.
The Goal is a self-feeding Christian who is able to sustain their own spiritual growth through daily time in God’s Word, under the guidance of the Holy Spirit, and in fellowship with the church.
 
Second Step – Nail Down the Basics
Very familiar, but many if not most Christians still struggle in one or more areas.
-Prayer - pray with them often!
- Bible Study – check out my book on journaling for a simple way to get someone started. https://runwithhorses.net/ - go the resources page for the Amazon link to the book, Simply Journal.
- Community (Church) – ideally go to church with them.
Conversations w/ new believes are about Why and How.
Ask: Where is this person? In their Prayer Life. In There Bible Time, In their relationship with the Church.
 
As a person grows in the basics, they are more comfortable in them and begin to develop Godly habits that sustain a spiritual life. Eventually they are able to feed themselves and begin to help others. A self- focused believer is an immature believer.
 
22_11_2_wed
Foundations for Making Disciples PART 2
 
Third Step– Make Growth a Priority. Change is natural and necessary.
http://jimputman.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/The-5-Stages-Of-Spiritual-Growth-1.pdf
Dead to Life- life begins as an infant.
An infant is dependent on another person 100% for life needs.
 
Infant to child to Young Adult →Parent to Spiritual Grand parent.
The eventual aim is a mature self-feeding Disciple maker who is capable of replicating himself.
 
Fourth Step – Keep the focus on growing in obedience, not just knowledge!
 
Three questions that will help us keep our focus right. Ask these every time we talk about the application of Scripture to our lives.
1. Do you understand the meaning of the passage?
2. Do you agree with what God is saying?
3.Do you see how to apply it in your daily life?
 
The answer to these questions guides your conversation and prayer together.
Regularly follow-up with; How can I help you live out what you are learning?
 
Fifth Step – Encourage them to reach out to others.
It doesn’t stop with them. The clear message must be Pass on what you have received.
 

Family Friday: Can You Help Someone Grow?

Today we talk about helping others grow in their spiritual life. We all have the responsibility to make disciples, do you have a plan?

Marriage A to Z: Interdependence vs Independence

Independence & Interdependence
WHAT:Define: Dependence: requiring someone or something for financial, emotional, or other support.Independence: free from outside control; not depending on another's authority.not depending on another for livelihood or subsistence.capable of thinking or acting for oneself.not connected with another or with each other; separate.not depending on something else for strength or effectiveness; freestanding.Interdependence: dependent upon one another : mutually dependentCo-dependentIt is an emotional and behavioral condition that affects an individual's ability to have a healthy, mutually satisfying relationship. It is also known as “relationship addiction” because people with codependency often form or maintain relationships that are one-sided, emotionally destructive and/or abusive.
Infants: extremely dependent. But as grow, they learn independence. This is normal.
As single adult, you become very independent. Make own plans, own decisions, schedule. You have to change when get married. This can be a challenge!
Balance needed: You can’t become TOO independent, but you can’t become TOO dependent either.
Interdependence --- -- On God, your spouse, the church familyYour part and their part.
WHY important?* Dependence – Builds connection. Like infant. Draw from the other; part of the whole. * Independence – Freedom, individuality, able to support others; without it, you can’t fully develop into the person you’re supposed to be* Interdependence – foundation for relationships; united; in it together; rely on each other; can’t have a healthy relationship without being tied together.You have to open up part of your life. Being closed keeps you from becoming interdependent. Suffer alone; keep help out. Church family, relationships in general can provide support.
HOW TOFoundation is the connector – Holy Spirit and faith. You don’t just work it out and make it happen. 
Together, you rely on the Spirit. Being connected to spouse isn’t the goal, but mutually depending on the Lord. 
Shock absorbers/rubber band image. 3-cord strand.
Contrast – we together stand on the foundation of God/faith, not standing on foundation of OUR relationship. This can be shaky or have problems. But if God is the foundation for each of us, and for us together, we can better face storms. 

Comfort or Sacrifice?

Summary of thoughts from Steve Gault a BMM missionary who spoke at the Faith Baptist Bible College Global Reach Conference,October 21, 2022.

P.A.U.S.E. for Reconciliation

Today Cameron and Norman review a workshop by Scott Owen at the Global Reach Conference at Faith Baptist Bible College, Ankeny, Iowa.
Reconciliation is a big part of the Christian life, let's get better at it!

Marriage A to Z: Health

 
HEALTH
 
Physical, Spiritual, and Mental/Emotional Health
 
What? (in relation to marriage) Physical: Diet/Exercise/Rest
 
Why? (the importance of it in marriage) Physical:
-- Discipline (or lack thereof) spills over into other parts of life.
-- Exercise and eating right makes dealing with stress and challenges easier.
-- Stewardship issue – (illus. US 60-yr.old vs. Japan 80 yr.old)
 
 
How To? (Contribute to the health of marriage)
-- Talk about it some. Role together is to motivate, support, encourage depending on things. “I see you’re struggling with Oreos. Maybe we shouldn’t buy them anymore.” Ways to help yourself and your spouse achieve success.
 
 
 
 
What? (in relation to marriage) Mental/Emotional
-- Thoughts -
-- Recognizing and addressing emotions (can’t control necessarily, but work to not let them control YOU!)
 
Why? (the importance of it in marriage)
-- Stagnant if not learning
-- Emotionally driven if you don’t approach things right
-- Learning and growing, using mental faculties for God’s glory
Take every thought captive, practice is needed
 
 
How To? (Contribute to the health of marriage)
-- Mental: Be intentional about learning. Be a life-long learner. Learn things that are useful!
-- Emotion: Recognize them; address. Don’t make decisions based on that. Encourage each other in these. Don’t need to downplay emotions, but help each other see you can’t let them drive and control you.
-- Pray for (and with) each other. One way to address this.
 
 
 
 
What? (in relation to marriage) Spiritual:
-- Growing in Christlikeness. Directional growth toward maturity.
-- ability to minister, focus outward, discipling others, etc.
 
Why? (the importance of it in marriage)
-- Because it’s God’s plan for us to be mature!
-- Because this affects all the other parts of your marriage! Foundational
 
 
 
How To? (Contribute to the health of marriage)
-- Talk about things like this. Meaning, value, purpose, spiritual life. Where you are, what your struggles are, areas you need to grow. Ask, share.
-- Practical ways – watch the kids so spouse can have Bible time, spend time with Christian friends
-- Minister together, talk about ministry, priorities together
-- Share about what you’re learning; teach each other to grow in this way.