Run With Horses

Marriage A to Z: Interdependence vs Independence

Independence & Interdependence
WHAT:Define: Dependence: requiring someone or something for financial, emotional, or other support.Independence: free from outside control; not depending on another's authority.not depending on another for livelihood or subsistence.capable of thinking or acting for oneself.not connected with another or with each other; separate.not depending on something else for strength or effectiveness; freestanding.Interdependence: dependent upon one another : mutually dependentCo-dependentIt is an emotional and behavioral condition that affects an individual's ability to have a healthy, mutually satisfying relationship. It is also known as “relationship addiction” because people with codependency often form or maintain relationships that are one-sided, emotionally destructive and/or abusive.
Infants: extremely dependent. But as grow, they learn independence. This is normal.
As single adult, you become very independent. Make own plans, own decisions, schedule. You have to change when get married. This can be a challenge!
Balance needed: You can’t become TOO independent, but you can’t become TOO dependent either.
Interdependence --- -- On God, your spouse, the church familyYour part and their part.
WHY important?* Dependence – Builds connection. Like infant. Draw from the other; part of the whole. * Independence – Freedom, individuality, able to support others; without it, you can’t fully develop into the person you’re supposed to be* Interdependence – foundation for relationships; united; in it together; rely on each other; can’t have a healthy relationship without being tied together.You have to open up part of your life. Being closed keeps you from becoming interdependent. Suffer alone; keep help out. Church family, relationships in general can provide support.
HOW TOFoundation is the connector – Holy Spirit and faith. You don’t just work it out and make it happen. 
Together, you rely on the Spirit. Being connected to spouse isn’t the goal, but mutually depending on the Lord. 
Shock absorbers/rubber band image. 3-cord strand.
Contrast – we together stand on the foundation of God/faith, not standing on foundation of OUR relationship. This can be shaky or have problems. But if God is the foundation for each of us, and for us together, we can better face storms. 

Comfort or Sacrifice?

Summary of thoughts from Steve Gault a BMM missionary who spoke at the Faith Baptist Bible College Global Reach Conference,October 21, 2022.

P.A.U.S.E. for Reconciliation

Today Cameron and Norman review a workshop by Scott Owen at the Global Reach Conference at Faith Baptist Bible College, Ankeny, Iowa.
Reconciliation is a big part of the Christian life, let's get better at it!

Marriage A to Z: Health

 
HEALTH
 
Physical, Spiritual, and Mental/Emotional Health
 
What? (in relation to marriage) Physical: Diet/Exercise/Rest
 
Why? (the importance of it in marriage) Physical:
-- Discipline (or lack thereof) spills over into other parts of life.
-- Exercise and eating right makes dealing with stress and challenges easier.
-- Stewardship issue – (illus. US 60-yr.old vs. Japan 80 yr.old)
 
 
How To? (Contribute to the health of marriage)
-- Talk about it some. Role together is to motivate, support, encourage depending on things. “I see you’re struggling with Oreos. Maybe we shouldn’t buy them anymore.” Ways to help yourself and your spouse achieve success.
 
 
 
 
What? (in relation to marriage) Mental/Emotional
-- Thoughts -
-- Recognizing and addressing emotions (can’t control necessarily, but work to not let them control YOU!)
 
Why? (the importance of it in marriage)
-- Stagnant if not learning
-- Emotionally driven if you don’t approach things right
-- Learning and growing, using mental faculties for God’s glory
Take every thought captive, practice is needed
 
 
How To? (Contribute to the health of marriage)
-- Mental: Be intentional about learning. Be a life-long learner. Learn things that are useful!
-- Emotion: Recognize them; address. Don’t make decisions based on that. Encourage each other in these. Don’t need to downplay emotions, but help each other see you can’t let them drive and control you.
-- Pray for (and with) each other. One way to address this.
 
 
 
 
What? (in relation to marriage) Spiritual:
-- Growing in Christlikeness. Directional growth toward maturity.
-- ability to minister, focus outward, discipling others, etc.
 
Why? (the importance of it in marriage)
-- Because it’s God’s plan for us to be mature!
-- Because this affects all the other parts of your marriage! Foundational
 
 
 
How To? (Contribute to the health of marriage)
-- Talk about things like this. Meaning, value, purpose, spiritual life. Where you are, what your struggles are, areas you need to grow. Ask, share.
-- Practical ways – watch the kids so spouse can have Bible time, spend time with Christian friends
-- Minister together, talk about ministry, priorities together
-- Share about what you’re learning; teach each other to grow in this way.

Courage under Fire: Lessons from Life’s Trials

It snowed today! Can you believe it! Mid October! Beautiful but cold. Not ready for Winter!
If you haven’t seen it yet, we have the runwithhorses.net website up and running. Particularly of note, on the resources page there are Amazon links to books by me and Susan as well as many other books that we have found worthwhile in our spiritual life and growth as disciple makers.The website is runwithhorses.net. If you would like to send us an email, we would love to know where you are listening from, reach us at talk@runwithhorses.net.
Today some thoughts from the Renew Conference - October 4, 2022, Nashville, TN -  David YoungOne day learned he had cancer and his life changed. Makes you consider your priorities.
• Life is lived and spent. One day all of it will be gone.Speaks to the purpose and value of life. How are you spending the valuable resource that you have? What activities are worth your very life?God’s work of redemption and reconciliation.Be and make disciples.
• Your best theology is done on your butt.When trials come you face the Truth. Do you know God now?Every trial is an opportunity to pressure test your faith. Faith only in good times isn’t faith.Life will bring trials, see that as a blessing from God. He loves you too much to let you live the delusion that you are OK without Him. He uses the testing of life to sanctify you.
• Convinced in truth - live it now!Yesterday was the best time to begin ministry. Second best is today.Live your convictions daily. Do you believe there is nothing more important than knowing God and sharing His message of salvation with the world? Would I know that if I looked at your choices? Our calendar and bank records tell us where our heart lies.
• There are a lot of Kind people in this world. Be one of them.- Everybody you meet is Fighting a battle.You can’t look at someone and know where they are in life or what they have been through.Meditate on Mercy and Grace. Remember the grace the you have received. Plan to show the same kind of grace to everyone around you.
• Spiritual warfare is Real.Courage is refusing to get discouraged.There is an enemy and he is fighting on all fronts. Cultural shifts more and more away from any biblical or even reasonable standard. Depression and anxiety are at all time highs. Any temptation you can imagine and a lot more you can’t are only a click away.Fewer people are interested in spiritual matters and those who are follow after man-made pleasure seeking gurus.
When life gets you down, real faith, real courage, is not giving up but continuing to trust the TRUTH and the Savior who bought you,
• Gratitude is the language of Heaven.Paul continually challenges us to be THANKFUL. In the war for victory in your spiritual life, Thankfulness is a powerful weapon. Keep a blessing journal and flip through it when you are tempted to throw a pity party. The children of Israel were constantly reminded to remember what God has done. We need the same reminder because we so quickly forget.
These are all good lessons but what about you? When you face tragedy, how will you respond?When your friends face life’s worst, how will you help them cope?Build your faith now, commit to follow Jesus today, help your friends to do the same. If you do that, At the end of your time here on earth you will find it to be a life well spent.
Had some great conversations about making disciples today.
 

Family Friday: Looking back at our life and parenting lessons

Susan and Norman look back at a few of the lessons they have learned as parents over the years.

Thoughts from the National Disciple Makers Forum Part 2

Today Susan shares some of her first thoughts from the Disciple Makers Forum. 

Thoughts from the National Disciple Maker Forum

National Disciple Makers Forum – Nashville, TN Oct 4-5, 2022“undiscipled but educated" pastors are too common.Church has given information often w/o transformation.Rules of the game = DoctrineMethodology - how to live it out wellPastor -  His purpose, his role is equipping & unleashing an army of disciple makers on a community.Success - disciples who can make disciples.Jesus- Teachings, Methods, tied together in a relationshipUse both hands L+R, Doctrine & Method* Never leave Doctrine, but we need to life it out in our Methodology.• We have allowed culture to make us deemphasize Truth / Doctrine & only seek relationships.God's Word is our standard. The Foundation we never leave. Jeremiah 6:16 Thus saith the Lord, Stand ye in the ways, and see, and ask for the old paths, where is the good way, and walk therein, and ye shall find rest for your souls. But they said, We will not walk therein.

Family Friday: Three months in America, How doe we see it Now?

Keep up to date and get access to all the shows at www.runwithhorses.net
This week the family considers life in America after three months on the road. The kids are still learning what it means to be a nomad in life and God is definitely growing them in many ways!
 
 

Marriage A to Z: Are You Thankful?

Gratitude
What?Definition:Appreciate the value of, be grateful for, thankful, see the need forMindset, attitude, It’s an attitude, but it also involves actions.Gratitude for and to person and toward God (to God)Paul says, “Be thankful.” It’s a choice, just like complaining is. Feelings are there, but you can choose it. Thankfulness is not only an emotion.
Why?It affects your outlook on life – in midst of trials (better able to endure)It affects relationships. If you’re thankful for the person, it places the focus on positive things, rather than the things you’re NOT thankful for!
Filter – Look at a person, look at them through a filter of gratefulness. When dating, it comes more naturally to do this! But over the years, our “lens” gets clogged!
We tend toward complaining, griping, and negative thoughts about everything! Our flesh has this tendency.. and we make things all about ourselves. Thankfulness puts someone else in the spotlight.
 
How to?Paul says, “Be thankful.” It’s a choice, just like complaining is. Feelings are there, but you can choose it. Thankfulness is not only an emotion.
With God, dwell on who God is – His attributes and character. Consider what you know about Him, and be thankful for the fact that He is that way.
Make a list of what you’re thankful for regarding your spouse.
Many of the negative things you struggle with your spouse, see the good side of those things. For example, a strong-willed person can cause problems, but in the right setting, this type of person is invaluable! Pray that spouse will use his strengths for God.
See the potential in your spouse. What God can do in and through him/her.
Remember all the little things spouse does to benefit you. It’s easy to overlook little things – laundry, car upkeep, taking out the trash, vacuuming, paying bills.
Choosing thankfulness for spouse inserts a buffer for when times are tough.
Focus on Scripture – see how God has blessed you. If you’re overall thankful, it’ll be easier to be thankful for specifics.
Beware of things that seek to steal your gratefulness – friends who complain about spouse, inward focus on your needs and desires, putting others before yourself, remembering this life is short.
Summary:Ultimately, gratitude is about YOU, not the situation or relationships around you. It’s your choice!